My friends & family,
Today I am going to write somewhat of a different blog. I try to keep it up beat and positive.. Don't get me wrong, this will be positive, but also the hard truth.
I have been in the DR just about a year now. I love it more and more with each passing day! The people I have built relationships with, the ministry opportunities I have been given, and the love I have not only been able to give but receive as well. To say this past year has been a life changing year would be the understatement of my life. I have not only learned a huge about of things about my own person, but I have been blessed to learn more about my God. I have been given an amazing opportunity to draw close to Him in situations in which many people never find themselves. I have found areas of my life which I need to change and work on every day and also have been shown the areas of my life which God is using to help bring others to his throne. With all this being said, I want to share with you some of my recent experiences and help you understand a little of where I am at this point in time.
When I moved to the DR a year ago I found a peace and comfort that I didn't even feel in my home town. My mom often worried because she said I sometimes am "fearless" to a fault.. When I should step back in concern or call it a day because I am pushing the limits, I often continue. I used to laugh at her and explain that my fearlessness was a gift.. And then I learned that my "fearlessness" was in fact one of my BIGGEST faults. When I started my mission career I was comfortable in pretty much all situations. I was completely content going to town by myself, making friends with anyone I could, visiting as many villages a week as I could, and not putting time restrictions on my day. I have found recently however that all those things (though they are good things) have really brought me to a place I never imagined myself.
About a month ago we had a small group from New York come to the DR for a week long mission trip. This was a group of teens and their leaders. Leading up their arrival I had began to feel some feelings I had never quite experienced. I began having sleepless nights, nightmares, fears of the "unknown" and a loneliness I can't even explain. While the group was there I was able to participate in some ministry opportunities that I don't normally get the chance to do. Because there was no medical for the week I just jumped in with the prayer walk groups. The very first day we went out we went to a village called La Mallita. This is a new village and was only the second time we as an organization had gone there. We stated our walk, talked to a few people and shared the gospel to those who would listen. We noticed across the way there was a clinic where the witch doctor did his "healing" or whatever he does there. He was sitting out on the porch with another older man. These men both well into their 70's just stared at us. The translator we were with felt so uncomfortable that they didn't even want to go, but we insisted we talk to these 2 men. Our short "gospel message" turned in to about a 45 minute conversation. This man shared with us why he believes what he does, how he believes he will never die and how he is ruling here on this earth. We countered with our beliefs, our faith in Christ Jesus and the desperate need for salvation. We left this day feeling a little discouraged because this man wanted nothing to do with us but at the same we had an overwhelming sense of accomplishment just for having the courage to approach such a man, such a presence of evil on behalf of the Almighty.
It was following this day that I really really began to feel the stress and overwhelming fight of spiritual warfare. I began to have dreams (though positive dreams) of overcoming the devil and his demons, I was overcome with a paralyzing fear which made it impossible for me to even leave my room to go to the bathroom at night, a feeling of being watched, a fear of the night, and many many sleepless nights laying in my bed praying for the comfort of Christ to fill my soul, praying for the morning sun to come and pleading for angel armies to surround that facilty. Night after night I would turn on my music and sing songs of praise, repeat bible verses to myself and pray in desperation. I can honestly tell you that I used to be one of those people who, when faced with the topic of spiritual warfare, would just turn my head and leave the discussion for others to have. As I read the word of God I came across Ephesians 6:12. I have read this verse a lot throughout my life but have never known exactly what it meant or how to take it. It says, "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."
My friends, how many times have we forgotten that we are, in fact, fighting a battle. We are in the midst of a war. This war is not against the flesh. I can promise you as I sit here this evening, that we are in a war against the darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil. I feel as though we do not always realize or understand these words. Some of you may have never ever felt what I am describing, but I can tell you there is a reason for that. The enemy has no desire or will to work on people who are not furthering the Kingdom of God. He will not waste his time on the unbelievers who have no desire to hear or seek the truth of God. What he WILL do, friends, is work overtime on those who seek with a passion to further the Kingdom. He will pull out all the stops to drag down those who are going to bring others to find the saving grace of our Father. As believers we are all targets.
The good new, there is hope!!!!!!!!! Psalm 91:1-16 says, "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, 'My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.' For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day.." I may have prayed, sang songs, recited scriptures, but did I realize or remember that the Almighty Creator of the universe had me under his wing. He already was there, his army of angels surrounding my very room keeping me from all harm. We are told to take up the armor of God.. to stand firm! He is not telling us not to press on, not to continue, or to allow fear to overtake us. He is telling us that "I am here, don't you feel me, I've never left, I will never leave you nor forsake you."
I tell you all this to say, this past year has been crazy. I have had highs and lows... but when I am trusting in my Father, relying on His word, I am safe. I can serve not because I am worthy, but because He has called. And where He calls, I will go... and He will go before me, preparing the way, slaying all forces of evil. My friends, there is nothing to great, no fear to big, no enemy too strong for our Savior!! I hope and pray that you press on! As i met with a friend last week she reminded me of the importance of having a core group of prayer warriors. I know I have so many of you praying for me, and i ask that you please continue to pray for me as I will continue to pray for you!! I am heading back to the DR after being home for 2 weeks. And now, instead of going back full of fear and stress, I am going back with a joyful heart ready to serve in any possible way!! I pray that the Lord continues to bless you all and use you in mighty ways! Don't stop serving. Don't let fear cripple you. He is there, always.
With love,
Jessica.
Today I am going to write somewhat of a different blog. I try to keep it up beat and positive.. Don't get me wrong, this will be positive, but also the hard truth.
I have been in the DR just about a year now. I love it more and more with each passing day! The people I have built relationships with, the ministry opportunities I have been given, and the love I have not only been able to give but receive as well. To say this past year has been a life changing year would be the understatement of my life. I have not only learned a huge about of things about my own person, but I have been blessed to learn more about my God. I have been given an amazing opportunity to draw close to Him in situations in which many people never find themselves. I have found areas of my life which I need to change and work on every day and also have been shown the areas of my life which God is using to help bring others to his throne. With all this being said, I want to share with you some of my recent experiences and help you understand a little of where I am at this point in time.
When I moved to the DR a year ago I found a peace and comfort that I didn't even feel in my home town. My mom often worried because she said I sometimes am "fearless" to a fault.. When I should step back in concern or call it a day because I am pushing the limits, I often continue. I used to laugh at her and explain that my fearlessness was a gift.. And then I learned that my "fearlessness" was in fact one of my BIGGEST faults. When I started my mission career I was comfortable in pretty much all situations. I was completely content going to town by myself, making friends with anyone I could, visiting as many villages a week as I could, and not putting time restrictions on my day. I have found recently however that all those things (though they are good things) have really brought me to a place I never imagined myself.
About a month ago we had a small group from New York come to the DR for a week long mission trip. This was a group of teens and their leaders. Leading up their arrival I had began to feel some feelings I had never quite experienced. I began having sleepless nights, nightmares, fears of the "unknown" and a loneliness I can't even explain. While the group was there I was able to participate in some ministry opportunities that I don't normally get the chance to do. Because there was no medical for the week I just jumped in with the prayer walk groups. The very first day we went out we went to a village called La Mallita. This is a new village and was only the second time we as an organization had gone there. We stated our walk, talked to a few people and shared the gospel to those who would listen. We noticed across the way there was a clinic where the witch doctor did his "healing" or whatever he does there. He was sitting out on the porch with another older man. These men both well into their 70's just stared at us. The translator we were with felt so uncomfortable that they didn't even want to go, but we insisted we talk to these 2 men. Our short "gospel message" turned in to about a 45 minute conversation. This man shared with us why he believes what he does, how he believes he will never die and how he is ruling here on this earth. We countered with our beliefs, our faith in Christ Jesus and the desperate need for salvation. We left this day feeling a little discouraged because this man wanted nothing to do with us but at the same we had an overwhelming sense of accomplishment just for having the courage to approach such a man, such a presence of evil on behalf of the Almighty.
It was following this day that I really really began to feel the stress and overwhelming fight of spiritual warfare. I began to have dreams (though positive dreams) of overcoming the devil and his demons, I was overcome with a paralyzing fear which made it impossible for me to even leave my room to go to the bathroom at night, a feeling of being watched, a fear of the night, and many many sleepless nights laying in my bed praying for the comfort of Christ to fill my soul, praying for the morning sun to come and pleading for angel armies to surround that facilty. Night after night I would turn on my music and sing songs of praise, repeat bible verses to myself and pray in desperation. I can honestly tell you that I used to be one of those people who, when faced with the topic of spiritual warfare, would just turn my head and leave the discussion for others to have. As I read the word of God I came across Ephesians 6:12. I have read this verse a lot throughout my life but have never known exactly what it meant or how to take it. It says, "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."
My friends, how many times have we forgotten that we are, in fact, fighting a battle. We are in the midst of a war. This war is not against the flesh. I can promise you as I sit here this evening, that we are in a war against the darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil. I feel as though we do not always realize or understand these words. Some of you may have never ever felt what I am describing, but I can tell you there is a reason for that. The enemy has no desire or will to work on people who are not furthering the Kingdom of God. He will not waste his time on the unbelievers who have no desire to hear or seek the truth of God. What he WILL do, friends, is work overtime on those who seek with a passion to further the Kingdom. He will pull out all the stops to drag down those who are going to bring others to find the saving grace of our Father. As believers we are all targets.
The good new, there is hope!!!!!!!!! Psalm 91:1-16 says, "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, 'My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.' For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day.." I may have prayed, sang songs, recited scriptures, but did I realize or remember that the Almighty Creator of the universe had me under his wing. He already was there, his army of angels surrounding my very room keeping me from all harm. We are told to take up the armor of God.. to stand firm! He is not telling us not to press on, not to continue, or to allow fear to overtake us. He is telling us that "I am here, don't you feel me, I've never left, I will never leave you nor forsake you."
I tell you all this to say, this past year has been crazy. I have had highs and lows... but when I am trusting in my Father, relying on His word, I am safe. I can serve not because I am worthy, but because He has called. And where He calls, I will go... and He will go before me, preparing the way, slaying all forces of evil. My friends, there is nothing to great, no fear to big, no enemy too strong for our Savior!! I hope and pray that you press on! As i met with a friend last week she reminded me of the importance of having a core group of prayer warriors. I know I have so many of you praying for me, and i ask that you please continue to pray for me as I will continue to pray for you!! I am heading back to the DR after being home for 2 weeks. And now, instead of going back full of fear and stress, I am going back with a joyful heart ready to serve in any possible way!! I pray that the Lord continues to bless you all and use you in mighty ways! Don't stop serving. Don't let fear cripple you. He is there, always.
With love,
Jessica.